why is it when i cant focus on my routine and obligations that i get so frustrated at myself? is not like this is easy, and not like being frustrated helps anything.

I was just talking with my therapist about how my emotional state is tied to my obligations and if im able to accomplish and finish all of them, but at the same time when i do finish them all, i dont give myself 1 once of satisfaction or glory or achievement noo... its just pressure here on krife's head.

i havent worked in anything for my self pleasure in some days, and me being a firm believer that we are creator beings and need creativity to survive!! how ironic. its not enough that i work with creativity! studying and working are not the same as being creative for myself! i need not only to learn to rest better but to also learn to create for myself better